It was a dark, windless night in upstate New York in 1790; the only sound was the pounding of hooves on the narrow path. A schoolteacher, heart racing, galloped through the dense forest as shadows closed in and branches clawed at him. He urged his horse faster, but the sound of another rider continued to grow closer, louder with each heartbeat. Glancing back, his blood turned cold. Behind him rode a dark figure—cloaked in black, no face, no head, just the eerie glow of a pumpkin where a face should be. Panic seized him as he realized he was being chased by the ghost haunting the sleepy glen, “The Headless Horseman!”
This famous moment from Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow captures the suspense and fear Halloween brings each year. As October arrives, we embrace the excitement and entertainment of fear—haunted houses, eerie stories, and masked figures. Halloween lets us embrace fear, knowing it’s not real. Unlike Ichabod Crane, who frantically fled from his fears, we flirt with this excitement. But once the masks come off and costumes put away, we’re reminded that the real fears we face daily don’t disappear as easily. The difference lies in whether we acknowledge or run from these deeper fears and how much power they have over us.
In everyday life, we build protective layers to shield ourselves from deeper fears. We develop patterns (“a life stance”), like wearing a costume, to guard against pain and vulnerability. While these defenses may have once helped, they often become rigid, limiting how we engage with ourselves and the world. Like Ichabod fleeing from the Headless Horseman, we tend to run from the emotional vulnerabilities hidden beneath these layers.
Therapy offers a space to illuminate these patterns and explore the core fears we’ve been avoiding. In E-H therapy, clients are guided to recognize their protective patterns and relate to fears directly. The process involves staying present with anxiety, allowing it to be felt in the moment. As clients peel away protective layers, they access deeper parts of themselves. By “being with” vulnerabilities, they reclaim disowned aspects and move toward a more authentic, empowered life—one where they no longer flee from fear but face it with understanding and acceptance.
Links to Related Blog Posts:
Read more posts about the therapeutic relationship.
Read more posts about protective patterns and working in the moment in E-H therapy on EHI’s blog.
Read all the Existential Moment series posts on EHI’s blog.
Existential Moment Author: Scott Gibbs, LMFT, EHI Board Member-at-Large | Website: www.mscottgibbs.com | Twitter: @Novum_Organum
